Guest Author

Let me tell you about the time D. told me a story that made me throw up.

Literally. And even to this day when I reminded D. about this story that he forgot he told me, I openly dry heaved while driving my car and trying to remind him of story while trying to NOT tell the story because I was already dry heaving THINKING about telling the story. Do you see where this is going?

D. was out with his mother and D. is not someone who will curb his behavior in front of his mother. If anything, I think he thinks the opposite. Why should he censor himself in front of his mother? She's been here the whole time. She should know what to expect when she goes out with him.

So he is out with his mother and they are at a fast food restaurant and they sit down at the table. His mother notices a small curly hair in her food (which is gross enough) and she makes the comment that no one working there has hair like this. At which point D. said to his mother, "Well, where do you have short and curly hairs?" To which his mother then BARFS all over the table. And I hang up the phone and barf as well.

I don't know if words can capture how delightfully gleeful D. was recounting this story to me; his ability to make his mother projectile vomit with a single comment. Or really for that matter, how happy that he was able to make ME vomit just by telling a story.